I liked passing out. I admit it. I liked the feeling of walking up the stairs, foggy, gripping the hand rail for stability, sliding into cool soft sheets, laying my head on a fluffy pillow and BOOM, I was out! No tossing and turning. No trying to calm my mind. No noticing how much my legs ached and wanted to keep moving. Just OUT. Passed Out. … Continue reading Things I miss – vol. 1
One Day at a Time…. It’s the only way to walk this journey of sobriety. Although, I feel a bit like an imposter as I write those words. I’ve always seen a sober life as the opposite of a drunk life. I was not a drunk. I did not spend every day drunk. But I did spend most nights drunk…. and I know now, that made … Continue reading Marking Time
I know. The Blog title “Tidbits of Thoughts and Tastes” does not “fit” the last two posts…. When I created the Blog two years ago I was pretending everything was okay. I was presenting the “perfect public image” that I see others posting …. I posted the last two pieces, “She Sits Alone” and “Voices” because they capture my struggle and help me begin to … Continue reading Finding bottom….
The sun is rising, the voices are quiet The day lies ahead, full of possibility. The setting sun brings them back. Pale sunlight in a glass quiets the voices in my head. How long has it been, these voices haunting me? I realize now, They left long ago. And took with them the memories I was afraid to lose. February 2016 Continue reading VOICES
She sits alone, sunken eyes staring off into nothingness. I sit in her nothingness. She sips water while a full glass of red wine patiently waits her attention. How can she ignore it? I am struck by the thought of ordering wine at lunch. I could not imagine doing it but the idea intrigues me. Is she driving? Is she on her lunch break from … Continue reading She sits alone…