She went to a party on Friday night. I went to one on Saturday. We were both the designated drivers which made it easy to say “no” when offered a drink.
She arrived well after the party started and guests were already drunk and doing things they would regret the next day. I arrived at the start and watched as several guests consumed too much in the course of the evening. Do we step in? What is our responsibility to our friends when we see them doing something that may cause harm?
She chose to help when asked, take someone to the bathroom, make sure they did not drink anymore, intervene if they were about to do something dangerous, drive them home.
I chose not to get involved. They were not driving, they had a partner with them, but they had definitely had too much to drink. Did I make the right decision? I’m not sure.
I asked her, besides being the designated driver, what keeps you from wanting to drink like the others? I don’t want to loose control was her answer. I never want to have to face people the next day and be embarrassed by something I did. As she said those words I realized that I feel the same. That’s why I’ve always been happy to be the driver, then I could go home and get drunk in the privacy of my own home.
She is my daughter. I am proud of her. And yes, she is underage as were all the other “guests” at the party. We’ve talked a lot over the years about how to handle yourself in life when faced with difficult situations. She proved that she has been listening.
For me, my real test came as we left and I was offered an open bottle of white wine to take home since it was left and I’d had nothing to drink. I graciously said no thank you and moved on. Did I want that bottle? You bet I did! But I knew I’d be unable to resist if I took it home. I’m proud of myself.