If you are in the US and watch any TV you know of, or have seen, the show This Is Us.  TV so brilliantly written and produced you feel as if the creative team has been listening to your heart and reading your mind as they developed each episode.  I won’t include any spoilers for those who might want to watch, but I do have a story to share….

In the recently aired final episode of Season 2, one character says something to the effect of, “We have to stop living with the grief, we have to let it go. Living with grief is like taking a breath and then holding it … forever.  We need to let it out so we can move on.” They each take a deep breath and exhale as the tears stream down my face.

I watched this episode one week to the day after I declared my addiction to alcohol.  My grief is what triggered my spiral into my addiction, my grief did not cause my addiction, which is a chemical imbalance in me that dictates how my brain interacts with alcohol. My grief unleashed my addiction. My grief left me unable to respond logically and rationally when I realized I was drinking too much.

So, I’m exhaling now; a little each day.  And it feels good, and scary, and unsettling.

Life is going to get busy in the next few weeks.  I will have limited access to the computer where I compose and post each day.  I’m banking a couple of things to release during this time, but it won’t be every day.  Don’t worry about me.  I’m doing well.  My support system is strong!  It’s a happy busy that will keep me away from the computer.  Be well and I’ll be back posting before you know it.

…and don’t forget to BREATHE!