Celebrations can be hard.

While I choose to remain anonymous in this Blog, I have been increasingly more open with family and close friends about the journey I am on.  I’m finding it really helps to be honest and discover that people are both supportive and knowing.  It’s been amazing to me how many women have responded… Me, Too!  

I wrote those words on July 3, 2017 as I faced the annual July 4th celebrations. I filed them away in my Drafts folder because, at the time, I was not sure what I wanted to say on the subject. I now wish I had posted right then, prior to “Me Too” becoming a viral phrase sweeping the country that Fall.  Oh well, procrastination has its downside, but that’s another Post…

Last night I faced a different celebration, a pre-wedding couples “Happy Hour”.  The bartender, a long time family friend who knows nothing of my journey, happily handed me the club soda with lime in a stem glass that I requested.  He then circled back regularly and kept it filled for me throughout the 2 hour gathering.   It was nice having him there looking after me.  I know that had I asked for wine, he’d have kept that glass full as well.  Having him look after me while drinking club soda as carefully as he would have if I’d been drinking wine made me feel less different, and actually a little special.

I was one of a tiny number of people not drinking.  The crowd was jubilant and the free flowing libations cast their spell.  Mid-way through the party, I felt myself take a deep breath and exhale as my husband caught my eye.  He put his hand lovingly on my back and kissed me on the cheek.  That was all the support and encouragement I needed to get through the rest of the party.

I rarely “over drank” in public.  One or two glasses of wine were usually my limit and I was happy to hold there, content with a little ‘buzz’ while taking part in the fun.  However, once I got home I’d quickly catch up with everyone I’d left at the party.

Last night was a new experience in this journey of mine.  I walked down an uncharted path, found my way through the maze, and emerged feeling a tiny bit stronger.