I recently “liked” another blogger’s post and realized that my profile picture is a type of patchwork quilt square. When I started this blog, several years ago, I had intentionally chosen a nondescript icon, but I am just now thinking about the symbol my subconscious brain chose that day to represent “me”.
The quilt is created by linking pieces of material with fibers of thread. Sometimes they come together easily the first time the artist puts the needle through the fabric. However more often than not, the artist has to plan, place, pin, undo and start over. Kind of like life. A quilt represents hours of work, connections, life lived. When you look at the final product you do not see all the seams that had to be ripped out and re sewn. You do not see the mistakes, you see the beauty in the whole, in the life lived.
When my brain was foggy with alcohol at night or aching from its remains in the morning, I often did not, could not, see the beautiful, delicate fabrics that were making up my life. I did not appreciate the mysterious, intricate stitches that were linking the moments of my days and life together. In the clarity of the last 6 days I have been amazed at the beauty and humor I have noticed in the moments that pass.
A love for fiber arts runs in my veins. Both of my grandmothers were masters in their own crafts of sewing, smocking, lacework and knitting. I am far from a master, but I do enjoy creating. In the evenings, when I used to drink, I am now rediscovering the joy of crafting with fibers.
I see now that the quilt square profile icon really was not a random choice, but one guided by the joy of my soul that was being drowned by wine. I’m thankful my joy survived.