I once started a post with the comment, silence is not golden. It was a time when I’d gone quiet with my posts because I was drinking again. Drinking after I’d publicly proclaimed here that I would not.
Today I feel differently. Silence is Golden. Silence allows my mind and spirit to listen. Listen to God. Listen to my Heart. Listen to Family. Listen to Friends. Listen to Nature. Just listen.
I’ve been silent the last week or so because I did not really have anything to say and I don’t feel that posting just to post is worth your time, or mine. I write when I feel called to share something, or process something. Recently I’ve just been listening.
I notice that I am thinking of drinking much less often. I notice that when I do think of it, I am feeling exhausted or a need to escape. Neither of those feelings will be helped by drinking, so I seek other ways to handle them.
In listening I am hearing stories of others who are struggling with the challenges of life. Some of those challenges are related to alcohol, but most are not. When I drank I was deaf to the important things people shared with me. I was numbed by my nightly drinking and unable to find the words to help the people who came to me in need.
The clarity I feel now is allowing me to be the person God is calling me to be in my life, the person who can support another in their trials and the person who can face her own. God is calling me to be strong in the face of storms that are brewing on the horizon. The storms are not here yet, but I can see the clouds building and feel the direction of the wind begin to change. I can no more stop these storms of life than I can stop a hurricane in its path. I can however, be prepared. Just as we prepare for severe weather, we can strengthen ourselves to face the storms of life. For me, mediation, daily prayer and not drinking are important ways I am strengthening my soul to face what life will inevitably bring my way.
Silence is golden. Silence means calm, peace, quiet. And most importantly, silence means the storms have not yet arrived.